Beyond the Report Card – celebrating effort over outcomes
As the school year in Australia winds down, it's easy to get caught up in report cards and test scores. But what if we shifted our focus from the final grade to the effort our kids have put in all year? More and more research shows that praising the journey, not just the destination, is vital for our children's long-term wellbeing and success.
The Power of a Growth Mindset
Have you heard of a "growth mindset"? It's a concept from Dr. Carol Dweck, a brilliant psychologist from Stanford University. She explains that people with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are set in stone. On the other hand, people with a growth mindset believe they can develop their abilities through dedication and hard work. This simple belief fosters resilience and a love of learning.
Dr. Dweck's research is fascinating. It shows that kids praised for being "smart" tend to develop a fixed mindset. They can become afraid of challenges in case they fail and no longer look smart. But children praised for their effort develop a growth mindset. They're more likely to embrace challenges and see setbacks as learning opportunities. Praising the process—the effort, the strategies, the persistence—is the key. You can find her book, Mindset, here. (As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This post contains affiliate link, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase.)
Building Inner Strength and Resilience
Dr. Dan Siegel, another expert in child development, agrees. He teaches that when we acknowledge our children's experiences, emotions, and efforts, we help them build self-regulation and emotional intelligence. When we say things like, "I can see you worked so hard on that," we're validating their internal strengths. This helps them develop self-motivation and the confidence to set their own goals.
This fits perfectly with a strengths-based approach, which is all about focusing on what's going well. By recognising and celebrating your child's effort, you're building their sense of competence and autonomy.
Dr Dan Siegel - The Whole Brain Child
Why Effort Matters More Than the Outcome
Focusing on effort has so many benefits for our kids:
Builds Resilience: Kids learn to bounce back from setbacks and keep going, even when things get tough.
Boosts Emotional Wellbeing: It reduces the anxiety and fear of failure that can come with perfectionism.
Promotes Lifelong Learning: Children learn to love the process of learning itself, not just the grades or awards.
Fosters a Strong Sense of Self: It nurtures an inner confidence that they can tackle challenges through their own actions.
Practical Tips for Parents
So, how can we put this into practice?
Be Specific with Your Praise: Instead of a simple "Good job," try, "I noticed you kept trying different ways to solve that puzzle. Your persistence was amazing!"
Ask About the Process: Encourage self-reflection with questions like, "What did you learn from that?" or "What was the hardest part?"
Model a Growth Mindset: Share your own challenges and how you worked through them. Let your kids see that you're a learner too.
Create Space for Exploration: Encourage activities where the focus is on the fun of doing, without any pressure to achieve a perfect result.
Resources for Your Family
Grit by Angela Duckworth - Complements Dweck's work perfectly.
The Growth Mindset Coach by Annie Brock and Heather Hundley - For our Educators empowering young minds.
The Magical Yet by Angela DiTerlizzi - picture book for young kids (4-8yrs)
A Growth Mindset for Teens by Sydney Sheppard - practical lessons and activities to build confidence, problem solve, grow skills, and become resilient in 31 days.
The Whole-Brain Child Workbook - a practical companion to the Whole-Brain Child
A report card is just one snapshot in time. It doesn't capture your child's full range of strengths, skills, and unique gifts. As Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences reminds us, kids can be smart in so many different ways—from music and art to being great with people.
By nurturing all these different strengths, we prepare our children for the real world. Let's shift our focus from where our children land to how we can best support them to fly.
Love,
Chelle ❤️
Special Educator Complex Supports and Family Support Specialist
