Farewell Nappies: A Gentle Guide to Nurturing Independence (and Your Sanity!)
Oh, the age-old question every parent eventually faces: "When is the right time to start toilet training?" It’s a query I hear often, and it’s a big one! This week, I wanted to share my thoughts (a little more formally than a quick chat over coffee!) on this significant milestone in your toddler’s life.
While the idea of toilet training can feel a bit daunting, it’s also a truly wonderful opportunity for growth, learning, and some beautiful bonding time with your little one. And here’s a little tip from one Mumma to another: as the warmer months are here, it’s often an even better time to tackle toilet training! Lighter clothing means fewer layers to manage, and accidents are a little less fuss. By understanding the signs of readiness, using gentle and effective strategies, and knowing how to navigate those common little issues, we can make the whole experience much more positive for both you and your child.
Is Your Toddler Ready? Signs to Look For
Before you even think about bringing out the potty, it’s super important to recognise if your toddler is actually ready. Every child is different, but here are some common signs that your little one might be prepared to start their toilet training adventure:
Physical Clues:
They can walk and sit down independently. They can stay dry for at least two hours during the day, or after naps. They have regular and predictable bowel movements.
Behavioural Hints:
They show an interest in what others do in the bathroom (like following you in!). They can pull their pants up and down on their own. They show discomfort when their nappy is wet or dirty. This is a big one, as it means they’re sensing those changes!
Cognitive Signals:
They can understand and follow simple instructions. They know the words for wee and poo, or whatever terms you use in your home. They can tell you, either with words or body language, that they’re about to go or have just gone.
Introducing the Potty or the Loo: Making it Fun!
Once you feel your child is showing those readiness signs, it’s time to introduce them to the exciting world of toileting! Here are some gentle strategies to help make the transition smoother:
Choosing the Right Equipment:
Offer a child-sized potty chair or a special adapter seat for your regular toilet. Let your toddler choose which one they prefer – this gives them a sense of control and comfort. If they choose the big toilet, a footstool is a great idea so their feet can rest, and it helps them get up and down safely. Let them sit on it with their nappy on first, just to get used to it without any pressure. Switch to regular toddler undies instead of nappies or pull-ups. It’s really important for your child to feel when they’re wet. While nappies and pull-ups are fantastic at keeping moisture away (which is great most of the time!), they don’t help with sensing that wetness, which is key for toilet training. Plenty of great options these days... even a potty in the shape of a dinosaur!
Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate Every Little Win!
Praise your child for any interest they show in the potty, even if it’s just sitting on it. "Good job sitting on the potty!" goes a long way. Verbal encouragement and small rewards, like a sticker chart, can be super motivating. But remember, some kids are just as pleased with a big hug and a "You’re doing so well, you’re getting so grown up!" – they love feeling capable!
Routine Building: Consistency is Your Friend
Incorporate potty time into your daily routine. Have your child sit on the potty at regular intervals, like after meals, before bed, and before leaving the house, even if they don’t go every time. This is what we call a ‘toilet timing’ strategy.
Demonstration and Modelling: Monkey See, Monkey Do!
Let your child observe family members using the toilet. This helps them understand the process and naturally imitate behaviours. It normalises it!
Navigating the Bumps: Troubleshooting Common Issues
Even with the best intentions, challenges will pop up – and that’s totally normal! Here are some common issues and how to gently address them:
Potty Resistance: If your toddler refuses to use the potty, avoid any pressure. Take a break for a few weeks and try again later. Keep your attitude positive and patient.
Accidents Happen: Accidents are a huge part of learning! When they occur, address them calmly. Reassure your child it’s okay and gently remind them to try the potty next time.
Fear of the Toilet: Some little ones find the flushing sound or the big toilet a bit intimidating. Start with a potty chair and gradually introduce the toilet with an adapter seat when they’re ready.
Managing Setbacks: Keep Calm and Carry On!
Setbacks are completely normal. Here’s how to handle them with grace:
Stay Calm and Encouraging: Patience is your superpower here. Praise effort and even the tiniest successes.
Maintain Consistency: A consistent routine provides security. Stable routines and expectations help toddlers understand what’s expected.
Re-evaluate Readiness: If setbacks keep happening, your child might not be quite ready. It’s perfectly fine to pause and resume when they show more signs of readiness.
Avoid Negative Reactions: Negative reactions can create anxiety. Always use positive reinforcement and gentle encouragement.
A Special Note for Our Kids with Complex Needs
For parents of a child with an intellectual disability and/or sensory processing challenges, toilet training can sometimes take a little longer and might need a more tailored approach. There might be difficulties understanding the concept, communicating needs, or recognising bodily cues. Sensory issues can also add layers of complexity – for example, some children might find the sensations of using the toilet overwhelming. A personalised plan that includes visual schedules, social stories, and frequent, positive reinforcement can be incredibly helpful. Don’t be disheartened if things take a little longer, or if you focus on ‘toilet timing’ (taking your child to the toilet at set times to increase their chances of success).
If you feel you need extra support, collaborating with specialists like occupational therapists can provide additional strategies for addressing unique needs, ensuring the process is as supportive and effective as possible.
Sometimes, a good book to reinforce the process can be very useful, such as, 'I Pooped In the Potty Today!'
Remember, toilet training doesn’t happen the same way for every child. By recognising those readiness signs, introducing the potty or toilet in a positive, structured way, addressing common issues with patience, and managing setbacks without pressure, you’re helping your toddler achieve this milestone and grow in independence. As Johnny Farnham sings, ‘Take the Pressure Down’ – and yes, I’m really showing my age here!
As always, feel free to reach out if you have any more questions or need some help connecting to more supports.
Love,
Chelle 💗
Special Education Complex Supports and Family Support Specialist
