Overcoming Mum Guilt: Why You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Mum guilt—it’s that little voice in your head that whispers, Am I doing enough? Am I making the right choices? It sneaks in when you’re rushing to work, when the kids ask for “just one more story,” or when you finally take five minutes for yourself. It’s relentless, exhausting, and often completely unnecessary.

But here’s the truth: you are doing better than you think.

Why Do We Feel Mum Guilt?

Mum guilt often comes from the pressure to be everything — a present parent, a dedicated worker, a loving partner, a good friend, and somehow still manage self-care. Social media can make it worse, painting unrealistic pictures of “perfect” parenting. But perfection doesn’t exist, and striving for it only leads to burnout.

Signs of Mum Guilt

• Feeling bad for working and not being with your kids.

• Feeling bad for being with your kids and not working.

• Worrying that you’re not patient enough, fun enough, or enough in general.

• Comparing yourself to other parents who seem to have it all together.

• Struggling to take time for yourself without feeling selfish.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone! So how do we quiet the guilt and embrace the reality that we are enough?

How to Let Go of Mum Guilt

1. Flip the Script: Would You Say It to a Friend?

Imagine your best friend came to you, feeling guilty about leaving her child at day-care or serving cheese on toast for dinner (again) or as I did many, many times…. a bowl of rice with cheese and butter. Would you tell her she’s a bad mum? No way! You’d remind her she’s doing her best. Try offering yourself that same kindness.

2. Focus on the Big Picture

Your child won’t remember every little detail of your parenting. They won’t remember if you gave them screen time one too many times or if dinner was toast and cheese some nights. They’ll remember feeling loved, safe, and supported. That’s what truly matters.

3. Quality Over Quantity

It’s not about spending all your time with your kids—it’s about making the time you do have meaningful. A 10-minute snuggle or a laugh-filled chat can be more impactful than an entire day together where everyone is stressed.

4. Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

You don’t need to be Pinterest-perfect. Your child doesn’t need a handcrafted lunchbox masterpiece or elaborate activities every weekend. A happy, present parent is more valuable than a perfect one.

5. Take Care of Yourself (Without Guilt!)

A burnt-out mum is not a better mum. Taking care of yourself—whether that’s a coffee in peace, a walk alone, or saying no to something—isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. A happier, healthier you means a happier home.

6. Stop the Comparison Game

No one has it all together. That mum who seems to be effortlessly managing everything? She probably feels the same guilt you do. Everyone has struggles, and social media only shows the highlights.

7. Remember: You Are Enough

Your child doesn’t need a perfect mum. They need YOU. Your love, your comfort, your presence—even on the messy, chaotic days.

A Gentle Reminder for You

Next time you feel that mum guilt creeping in, take a deep breath and remind yourself:

✔ I am doing my best, and that is enough.

✔ My child feels loved, and that matters most.

✔ Taking care of myself helps me be a better parent.

✔ I don’t have to be perfect to be a great mum.

You are doing better than you think, and your child already thinks the world of you. If you need a little more convincing head to The Flawed Mother  and You  Can’t Pour From An Empty Cup.

Love,

Chelle ❤️

 Special Educator Complex Supports and Family Support Specialist